mommalove (intro) featuring emoniFela

my momma said there’d be days like this
my mommalove told me there would be days like this
my momma said there’d be days like this
my mommalove told me there would be days like this
my momma said there’d be days like this
my mommalove told me there would be days like this
my momma said there’d be days like this
my mommalove told me there would be-

trouble
being a young Black girl is enough of a hustle
but she always there standing with me through the struggle
and when the weight of the world becomes too much
she be’s my extra muscle
she’s something special
calls me a diamond that she has to apply pressure to
so that someday i’ll shine
just as much as she do
and i love her
i mean i don’t just call any ‘ol sista ‘moms’
as a matter of fact i got’s one
but she’s a different type of love
you know,
the perfect balance of
teaching and to be reached
preaching and to be preached
she is the captain that keeps my boat afloat
and never lets it sink
and you know what i think?
i think she’s a heaven sent angel
placed in my life to give me divine truth
and what i love most about her
is she understands the youth
it’s never about what they did back in her day
she is the reason i pray
never lets me go astray
it’s like how can i portray or convey through words
a love so real it has its own name
we be so different and so much the same
both our birthdays fall on the 28th day
which makes us a cipher
so we stand array
not many people can sway my thoughts
but she has a power that can’t be bought
she’s all truth
and i’d just like to say
she’s one of the very few people i can depend on
and you never have to say too much for her to know something’s wrong
so whether through a call or a song
she always reaches out to say you are loved
and so this poem
is not only about the appreciation of her
but for every sista playing a major role in somebody’s life
i can’t describe to you what that means
when you’re holding a knife
and you’re taking a few steps away from life
and she’s there to make it right
even if in the least bit just hearing her say “it’s gon’ be alright”
is enough to save your life
and i want to thank her
through these words on this mic
every day and every night
she’s like a light that shines in my life
and gives me hope
she tells me
‘”go on babygirl, go on and shine”
for you too are somebody
and when this life is over i’ll meet you in the afterparty
nah, we don’t always agree
but she still finds a way to understand me
my mommalove
accepts me for who i am
on a daily basis with no if’s, and’s or but’s,
no why’s or what’s
with the burns and the cuts
she just loves me unconditionally
and i ain’t never giving that up
so from my mommalove to the next
we celebrate you everyday
know that your love
is beyond perplex
you are our shadows
that the the sun reflects
you accept our situations
no matter how complex
and for that,
we show mad respect
so-
from the ancestors
to the earth
and the skies that lay above
you hold a special place in my heart
and i love you,
mommalove

my momma said there’d be days like this
my mommalove told me there would be days like this

absence of color featuring Hezekiah

once wrote a song  “black fist black cream”
more than ten years later, still got Black dreams
of Black love and proud eyes, mountains up high
Black women who smile more than they cry
Black children who can breathe clean fresh air
no Black genocides any place or anywhere
Black neighborhoods without bright yellow tape
warm sun on Black skin on beautiful days
and i love Black love that weathers the storm
and awakens the senses like symphony horns
i believe in Black beauty, all different shades
Black kisses that can calm and quiet the rage
i believe in Black poise, rivers run deep
wish i never saw Black bodies collapsed in the street
wish my dreams come true while i’m still on this earth
one love to Black mothers, soon to give birth

Chorus
they  build me up just so they can break me down
absence of color so they try to fade me out
they love me then just so they can hate me now
i keep shining, i keep shining

look, i believe in Black life but i believe in choice
and the world’s so crazy got to lift this voice
i believe the Black struggle remains unchallenged
blood history is real, we pray for balance
i know Black women shine straight from our eyes
not the size of our breasts or the shape of our thighs
Black men cry from deep inside
they need to be held under calamitous skies
shell shock is real in the Black experience
we killing ourselves, it’s so serious
Black celebration is balm for the cold
Black music has a key to the lock on the soul
and i rest in Black thought, covered with grace
with rainbows that slide, with sweetness i taste
i brace for Black movement that shatters the hate
Black kiss, Black cream, Black fist, Black fate

Chorus

Black faith has been seen as a call for Black violence

where i’m from (the anthem)

gangsters come and gangsters go
all around the world, everybody knows
the game is so cold where i’m from (where i’m from)
sometimes i get to feeling there’s a shadow on the sun
it’s the walk and the talk
damn i’m so fly
must be the water and the California sky

Chorus
where i’m from, where i’m from
we can party all night (where i’m from)
where i’m from, where i’m from
it’s a beautiful life
where i’m from

gangsters ride, hustlers float
money moves the world, everybody knows
your life is at stake where i’m from (where i’m from)
keep on talking drama soldiers pulling for they guns
cuz the block is hot, the drama never stops
where i’m from (where i’m from)

Chorus

it’s no place like home, wherever i go, wherever i roam
it’s no place like home, wherever i go, wherever i roam

love my brothers on the block and my sisters at the shop
love to see my people shine where i’m from
love the sunny days, which are not always
where i’m from

clean paper

i’m walking away, my tears have rinsed me clean
i know you’ll miss me but i’ll never miss the drama we’ve seen
was looking for the sun but you were always cold
i wanted love so badly i wouldn’t let you go
to please you, i denied me
but never no more

Chorus
love is not supposed to hurt
take care of myself, find somebody else
love is not supposed to feel this way
i can see now, a brand new day

i’m realizing, my heart has let me see
in my father’s absence, learned you still love them when they leave
you did me wrong while i did you right
thinking you might love me if only i held tight
i’m worth so much more than i saw

Chorus

i thought i knew but now i know
accepting your pain don’t make you beautiful
i thought i knew but now i know
accepting your pain don’t make you beautiful

may i be blessed to love without pain
let my mind eclipse my heart
to know the sun from the rain
i know, i know

beautiful resistance

feels like the weight of seven sorrows
is hanging on my heart
and my tears are so heavy
they could rip me apart
i caress the pain
try to figure it out
but i still fall apart
‘til i pray out loud
suffering silent
is a global issue
it don’t matter your age
it’s a body bag to fit you
and it’s tragic
written like a classic
where everybody dies and only God’s left asking
wishing on  a streetlight, gonna be a long night
fuck the president cuz he can’t seem to get his mind right
and ghetto block to ghetto block the hustle’s on
people got to eat even if the work is wrong
so, slowly we keep dying, our souls can’t rest
mothers bury babies with a heaving chest
so i’m stressed the fuck out from the collective strain
so much blood on our hands to wash in the rain

Chorus
i belong to you and you belong to me
we can’t make it through what we’re going through
without each other

streets are filled with hollow eyes
from slaving for a system that never provides
and the American dream is all propaganda
to parents everywhere who can’t feed they families
work, work, work ‘til you die
still have nothing might as well get high
that’s the motto, see the cat with the bottle?
posted on the corner? he not gon’ see tomorrow
cuz it’s cold outside, numbing to the bone
and when he lost his job, he lost his home
and the screaming schizophrenic, think she knows the truth
cuz she says the world is over and ain’t shit to do
lovers keep crying, sisters keep sighing
a revolution’s not a dream, we just stopped trying
and we gon’ have to change or die

Chorus

we’re all tied together in a maze of pain
walking towards the end, closing credit, final frame
it’s in slow motion and crystally clear
fuck rappers, the world is in danger this year
i can hear the pleading even when i’m sleeping
it rises from the street and interrupts my breathing
hopeless i know it sounds
but take a look around, everything is falling down
and i refuse to watch like a pretty girl who can’t speak
beautiful resistance when my poem hits the beat
no retreat, no surrender
keep pieces of the sun for when it’s cold in december
let this bang on every street
to wake the hearts of those still ‘sleep
let this bang on every street
to wake the hearts of those still ‘sleep

intermission

it’s a state of emergency
everybody buckle down
you ain’t got to like me
but i’m pitching from the mound
so, first things first
on behalf of all my ladies
i forever speak the truth
even if they call me crazy
second, to the dudes
let’s set the record straight
i’m a lover not a hater
but y’all sound so played
i am not your bitch
i am not your hoe
don’t want to see your dick
or hold your platinum and gold
i don’t want to bend over
don’t want to touch myself
if you ugly, you ugly
that’s not changed by wealth
grillz won’t make you fine
nor will diamonds in the bezel
gunshot scars ain’t really sexy
nor is working with the devil
i’m flesh and blood
a woman with grace
should never strike me out of anger
or to put me in my place
what kind of dude are you
if you can’t even be a man?
it’s no you without me
but you don’t understand

Chorus
it’s a whole lotta poison
but this here’s some remedy
whole lotta lies
here’s some truth, see?
if it’s all about the money
its gone all wrong
it’s too many of us dying
for the same old song
so, this here is the intermission
music for y’all from the soul kitchen
this here is the intermission
music for y’all from the soul kitchen

some cats are really gangsters
but most of y’all not
you just wrote a catchy tune
that crossed over to pop
and then, then the whole believed you
but i didn’t
that’s the beauty ‘bout the truth
i can stand by what i’ve written
so when i hear you say
‘it’s just entertainment’
and, ‘I’m like an actor
this is the vision i painted’
i’m like, nah dude
you’re playin’ a role
at the expense of our youth
who don’t know glitter from gold
got the white kids thinking
it’s aight to say my nigga
they’re like, ‘oh that’s so gangster’
go figure
it’s a disconnect
between your music and your life
you play make believe in session
then go home to your wife
i’d like to walk in a shop
flip through cds
that have stickers on the front
for everyone to see
that say, this truth
and this is fiction
this was all imagined
this was really lived in

Chorus

when i got raped, i should have snitched
but i didn’t know how
if it happened here and now
i would shut you down
when my father was murdered?
snitched with a purpose
got the details
and then sang all the verses
you touch my mother?
i’d be snitching for true
what, you wouldn’t?
fuck you– you’re confused
you call it street code
but i laugh at that
run your mouth so much on records
that the Feds should holler back
got little kids saying
‘put snitches in ditches’
i can’t follow on that
cuz the cycles so vicious
we all got choices
and it’s things you don’t say
but i’m so disgusted
‘bout Pac, Big, and Jay
somebody knows something
and it ain’t been handled
yet we all say we loved them
once a year, burn candles
and this type of shit
happens every day
in every corner of the world
not just the USA

Cali cruisin’

always a purpose and a point
when my voice is heard
like Isabel Allende
with her beautiful words
stories get crafted
as emotion is mastered
then passed onto y’all
to decipher and capture
hold me tight
never let me go
passionately pure
if you must label the flow
i take my time
no need to rush
this is more like making love
than just trying to fuck
i ain’t out for positions
i got my own level
maintain it lovely
from the roots to the petals
no duplications
i own the feel
of my calm spilling over
like a touch that heals

Chorus
it’s no illusions
no tricks allowed
this is California cruisin’
put into a style
but no definition
could ever explain
how this really feels
to the heart and the brain

if i woke in the morning
with you on my mind
and did nothing with my day
but study your rhymes
not cuz i love you
or think you’re profound
but cuz i want to destroy you
and disable your sound
no, sir
i don’t business with that
i got a whole different life
that don’t pertain to rap
and you’re not privy
you’re not invited
you can’t eat at my table
nah i ain’t excited
not the flavor of the week
so poetic when i speak
properly push words
like a chemist in the street
i sweetly seep in
a delectable treat
like cardamom and curry
at an Indian feast

Chorus

more than conceptually proficient
paint a world with my linguistics
my momma calls me Mandy
but you can call me mystic
i’m the pulse under the finger
not the finger on the pulse
sister number one
and never play high post
i’m a baller’s dream
an underground goddess
the wifey type
ain’t got to get my mind right type
life
is such a beautiful treasure
that’s why you hear me smile
in the middle of a measure
pleasurably different
in that ‘damn’ type way
serenade the soul
like Pac did L.A.
i’m laid back
burning some Trapp
two P’s, honey grapefruit
Check on that

higher ground

dear momma,

hush your soul, you’re so pretty when you smile,
it’s no reason for tears
your girl is grown, i made it through the storm
it’s over now
sorry for trouble, the pain i caused
i was searching for sorrow, confused and lost
but it was never your fault, it was always my heart,
my world was so dark,
but

Chorus
i found higher ground up above
higher, higher, higher
i found higher ground up above
higher, higher, higher ground

i learned to breathe after i sighed a thousand sighs
i got so tired
i’d tried to run, i tried to hide
perfected sad smiles
wish i could take it back but then who would i be?
i never meant to hurt you, hope that you can see that
it was never your fault, it was always my heart,
my world was so dark

Chorus

it’s been a long road
with so many moments
so much hurt
but i got to own it
i would walk the globe
barefoot to repent
to collect the tears
that you paid like rent
i was wild and young
addicted to the pain
didn’t want to be saved
but, never again
i’d like to take you in my arms
ask for forgiveness
when you smile at me now
i can see you bear witness
you’re amazing and strong
plus so much more
i want to keep you forever
and walk by the shore
you live in my heart
like the faith in hope
when i was falling off the cliff
you were a silk woven rope
and i owe you
an amount i can’t pay
but i give to the fund
like every single day
so, whenever i’m weak
i think of you only
climb to higher ground
where you console me

i love you, momma

Chorus
Reach out for me baby, reach out for me

i think about us and when we’re all alone
oh how you touch me, smile, then turn off the phone
you give me this feeling, think i got it now
ain’t nobody love me like you do, no way, no how
won’t you come closer? please, don’t keep me waiting
please

Chorus

reach for me anytime
i’m yours and you’re mine
you know that i would give you anything you need
this love is unbelievable
never felt so free
reach for me anytime
i’m yours and you’re mine

eyes of diamonds (a fairy tale)

once upon a time…

in a far away place under a quiet sky
there’s a princess locked away in a castle up high
every day she wakes, dresses in her gowns
sits out by the roses until the sun goes down
she’s waiting for her lover, she’s counted every tear
the soldiers stand around her, its been a thousand years

Chorus
sad girl with eyes of diamonds
she doesn’t know that she’ll never find him

she was promised to the gods on the day that she was born
an agreement with the king so they would stop the flooding storms
when the time came she was to walk into the sea
let the water cover her until she couldn’t breathe
but as it’s always written a prince did catch her eye
they tried to run away but there was no place to hide

Chorus

when they were found, he was sent away
but he told his love, he’d come for her one day
but the gods were angry, he was beaten ‘til he died
his bones are in the garden where she sits alone to cry
where she’s waiting for her lover, she’s counting every tear
the soldiers stand around her, it’s been a thousand years

love story, it’s a love story
once upon a time…

country roads

boys are hanging from the trees in the summer breeze
and i can hear them scream
water falls, but not from the sky, but from broken eyes
and it feels so unclean
Southern boys with ropes for toys, look at what you destroyed
down those country roads

Chorus
you were better than that, if i could bring you back
i’d hide you in my arms from them

girls are lying still unfound just beneath the ground
with mouths full of tears
families pray while clutching hope, bring my baby home
their breath is thick with fear
the evil that men do, sick and evil men do
on quiet country roads

Chorus

there is no reversing time when it comes to death
but i think of you often
i sometimes look at a beautiful back road
and all i see is pain covered in beauty like a mask
Black boys and men were not, and never will be, for the taking
little girls and women are not, and never will be, for murdering and raping
i’m unable to forgive those that trespass the innocent
so, i hold on to the remembrance cuz i know
angels were made from your dirty hands, on quiet country roads

worth saving

y’all know i love my sisters
i ain’t even got to know you but i love my sisters
so, no dis intended, just real truth extended
beauty tryna be ugly is not comprehended
i really hate to even write this piece
cuz it’s personal and private but y’all know me
it’s this girl i knew, she used to be my friend
but looking back on it all it was bound to end
i told her all my secrets, she ate in my home
no matter day or night i picked up the phone
she had a perfect life she perfectly destroyed
said she was perfectly dying and her soul needed more
so she surrounded herself with beautiful things
including a man and then played with the strings
i watched and listened, caught her tears like rain
and though i loved you for real we can’t be friends again

Chorus
you are really worth saving but you got to save yourself
i can’t walk with you but you’re not alone
save yourself

so you lied to me plus lied with my name
i was being Momma Mystic so i received your pain
i watched your friends disappear one by one
and one even told me, ‘watch the glare of the sun’
i protected you cuz all my boys wanted to fuck
but i can see in hindsight they wasn’t rich enough
but, back from past and into the present
i’ve been hearing your name in ways that’s most unpleasant
i know now you give your body for cash
call it what you want, that’s selling your ass
what’s that stuff in your nose? momma slow down
Hollywood sparkles but it’s ugly deep down
and you’re worth so much more, hold onto yourself
your dreams are now infected, you destroying your health
hope you know what you losing, got some plans to get it back
cuz you really worth saving but right now you off-track

Chorus

i wonder how you feel, i’d really like to call
but i’m disgusted without judgment
the ball’s not only dropped but broken
you still hoping for love?
do you feel used, momma?
how you embrace that stuff?
you were a goddess number one, you probably still are
just not to me, more like a falling star
i’d like to catch you in my pocket, keep you safe
but you’re now out of my reach and i’ve lost my faith
so when you hear this and get angry then deny
then finally collapse and begin to cry
please don’t ring my phone and ask me why
take a look in the mirror and then heave ‘til you sigh
this is not to make you famous i would have called your name
but you sullied enough, you don’t need no more stains
in some odd way i’m only trying to help
cuz you really worth saving
ma, love yourself

grown (lushly bangin’)

i can feel you watching me
i know where you wanna be
you wanna get me all alone so you can turn me on
taste my honeywalls, show me how we grown
you wanna ride daddy, it’s in your eyes
you wanna take control of what your money can’t buy

Chorus
maybe i will, maybe i won’t, take you home
i ain’t done choosing from the choices i’ve been shown
if i do, if  i don’t, keep it low cuz we’re grown
maybe i will, maybe i won’t, take you home
i ain’t finished picking from the choices i’ve been shown
if i do, if i don’t, keep it low cuz we’re grown

i can tell you’re thinking deep
counting ways to rock me to sleep
maybe on the floor or up against the wall
hanging off the bed, work until i call
you wanna know daddy, what it’s like
up under my clothes, wanna trace me in the light

Chorus

i ain’t never been a pimp but i might be a player
in my LRG sweats with a matching Now or Later
never been a pimp but i might be a player
in my LRG sweats with a matching Now or Later
i’m choosing

Eligh’s Verse
he’s the kid in the back, with his hat to the side, setting traps with his eyes,
looking you up and down, you can tell he’s the one
stop fuckin’ round with these dudes, flirting for nothing,
wasting precious time, you could be mine, i’m thinkin’, back in my car
we can handle it all, i won’t fumble the ball, don’t give me a number to call
because patience is not my m.o. although i’ll take info, because i’ll be all right

payback (la, la, la…)

it’s a million degrees, but you’re frozen you can’t breathe
the sky is falling down but you’re stuck and you can’t leave
it’s a dark night with a bright sun
a never-ending war that can’t be won
it’s a fairy tale without a twist of fate
your lover’s eyes when you walked away
how does it feel to write your sorry’s on the walls?
like ancient Rome and Greece, even the mighty they fall

Chorus
ain’t your momma tell you that you get what you deserve?  (payback)
ain’t your momma tell you that you get what you deserve? (payback)
you want to be loved, you want to be found
you want to feel whole, you want to be down
you want to be held, you want to be kissed
you want to feel bliss, you want to be missed
and, you want her back
you want her back

“i love you”– what you hear but she’s nowhere
the sounds of her laughter are so clear
she loved you, you were the only one
your suffering days will never be done
child, you can’t steal from the hands of God
truth hurts and you’re bloody and scarred
how does it feel to write your sorry’s on the walls?
like ancient Rome and Greece even the mighty they fall

Chorus

you want her back but you’re all alone
you want her back but she’s back on her throne
you want her back but you’re all alone
you want her back but she’s back on her throne
singing, la, la, la, la, la, la…

love, mommalove

beautiful resistance is found in love and rebellion
it is in the dreams of our youth who will lead the revolution
it is hope in progress which can be denied by no one

beautiful resistance is happening all over the planet
it is a shift in consciousness that
does not allow for corrupted governments
nor children to suffer in poverty
nor allow us to become numb to injustice

beautiful resistance is defying abuse and pain
defining our own narrative
it is in the holding of our children
it is not being silenced in the face of war or police brutality

beautiful resistance is a collective movement
that nourishes the soul
and does not deny the cuts and scars we have journeyed through
see, I belong to you
and, you belong to me

in love and in struggle,
may we continue to beautifully resist

love is revolutionary